Chapter 1 NLP MindFrame Patterns©

Our frame of mind determines everything: how we are the way we are, and why we get the results we get. Change our mind, change the result. Change our frame of mind, change our lives.

If we are in control of our minds, then we should be able to control our frame of mind and therefore how we act in certain situations. Unfortunately, we often do not. And therein lays the problem. If we could change our frame of mind so we are able to act for our own best purposes, then we are far more likely to get the results we want.

Ever heard the expression, “I’m not in the right frame of mind to do that,” or “I have to be in the right frame of mind to do this…”

It is a mantra we use to excuse or justify our actions. However, it goes much further than that, as it strikes at the core of who we are.

We are what we project, that is what we perceive, we project, consciously or unconsciously. If we believe we can not do something, we will invariably prove ourselves correct. If we believe we can do something, we are far more likely to achieve that. Henry Ford once said, ‘If you believe you absolutely can or believe you absolutely can’t, you’re absolutely right’.

Our frame of mind can also be seen in how we are behaving, and is essential in getting what we want. That could be as huge as achieving a lifetime’s ambition or as simple as feeling comfortable around friends and family.

‘What MindFrames© can do is give each and every one of us the capacity to do what we want, when we want it, by using all the resources we already have’

Is our frame of mind the state we are in? Yes it is. It is how we are when we are in a particular setting doing a particular thing. States are simple emotional frames that can change moment to moment: from happiness to sadness, from determined to uncaring. However, our frame of mind goes much deeper than that. Our frame of mind can determine whether we succeed or fail, whether we slip from sadness to a deeper depression, or happiness to ecstasy. It underpins everything that we want to be, do or have.

Whilst a frame of mind can be represented by a state, if directed in the right way, it can go much deeper, producing much more profound results.

If a frame of mind can deliver all that we want to be, do or have, why is it that we can not achieve that right now? Quite simply, we can.

Ever felt totally energised to do something straight away, to jump on it whilst the iron’s hot, when you feel determined to get it done? That is an achievement frame of mind that has doubtless served you well to realise your goals and inspire you to press on in spite of obstacles that may arise. It is just the sort of frame of mind that many people would welcome, particularly when approaching tasks or workloads that require a single-minded approach and indominatable spirit.
If that frame of mind could be maintained over an extended period of time until we can achieve all that we wish and beyond, then the rewards would be great. Some people can manage that, whilst others can not. Some people can do it for a small task, yet become overawed if the task is broadened or if other issues arise. Even people who have this frame of mind for extended periods can eventually feel pressure or tired through exerting a lot of effort.

What MindFrames© can do is give each and every one of us the capacity to do what we want, when we want it, by using all the resources we already have. It is about tapping into our vast potential to unleash everything we need to get everything we want, in every situation in life.

Using Our Resources

Yes, we can have the right frame of mind, right now, to achieve our goals. To prolong that, to ensure we reach our aim, or attain whatever it is we desire, we need to tap into those resources. We may already be aware of tools and techniques that are useful to help us on our way, whether practical guides like personal organisers for time management, or through focusing on our priorities. These are fine and can certainly be effective. To reinforce these and to ensure there are no gaps, we also need to tap into our vast unconscious resource.

Vast because 90 per cent of what we are is beneath the surface. The 10 per cent that is within our awareness, our waking, conscious state, is the tip of the iceberg. To rely on this 10 per cent alone means we are leaving out a large part of ourselves that could be incredibly useful and empowering. We could also exhaust ourselves through working largely with the conscious part.

‘A MindFrame© is a personal approach or strategy to one aspect of our lives that ensures we get the result we want’

Becoming aware of our unconscious resources, and how to direct these to get the results we want, gives us more control of our minds and therefore the results we get. What we must be aware of is the need to be aligned, between our conscious and unconscious, so that we are congruent in what we want and how to achieve that. If we are aligned we are in balance, everything is working in harmony and we feel stable, or centred. That means we are congruent, functioning properly.

If we are incongruent, or unbalanced, then the conscious and unconscious are not working together, and invariably we will not get what we want. Henry Ford’s quote can also be applied to the unconscious: “If you unknowingly believe that you absolutely can or absolutely can’t, then you’re absolutely right”.

Unknowingly, because if we are not achieving what we want and are trying everything consciously, then there is something amiss or we are misaligned at an unconscious level. If we have a problem, any problem, of an emotional sort: anxiety, stress, sadness, guilt, anger… it is because we are out of alignment with our unconscious. We are incongruent.

So to be in the right frame of mind – our MindFrame© – we must look towards our conscious and unconscious and work with them both together, in unison.

Changing MindSets

Creating the right MindFrame© for you is a subjective and personal experience. What may be the right frame of mind for one person, could be intolerable for another. What works for one person, does not always work for the next.

It is about what works well for each one of us. Who is anybody else to tell you what frame of mind you should be in to get what you want, or be how you wish to be? It is about discovering for yourself what works best for you.

A frame of mind or unresourceful state that is not working for us is a MindSet, as in it is set in its way. It is when we are stuck or keep getting the same results over and over. As the brain is a self-patterning system, we keep repeating the same patterns, or same mistakes, or same habits. We tend to do the same thing that we have done before because that is what the brain recognises and responds to.

Imagine a steep-sided valley with furrows running down its sides. When the rains come the water fills the existing channels and run down the same rivulets and streams. If there is a downpour then the waters can overflow and run everywhere (like when we are overwhelmed). Otherwise the water flows along established routes. That is how our brain works. It follows the same patterns unless something radical causes the water to flow in a different direction and another groove is created for the water to pass through. In terms of how our brain works, it is about creating a new neurological pathway, redirecting the flow.

To move from a MindSet, when we are stuck repeating the same patterns and getting nowhere, to doing what will work for us, we need to jump from an existing MindSet and create that new neurological pathway.

That becomes our MindFrame©, the change pattern that opens up new ways of thinking, behaving and being. To ensure continued success all MindFrames© should be open-ended so that further progress can be made. There is no full-stop or closure. This means revisiting what is working for us and updating our responses to make sure it continues to work. Otherwise it could lapse and become another MindSet.

What qualifies as a MindSet? Once again, it is only what we in our individual interpretation denote as a stuck state, or one that no longer gives the rewards that we seek. There are two categories therefore. The first is when what we are doing is not working. The second is when what we are doing is not working well enough for us. Both categories will show patterns of behaviours and outcomes that keep repeating themselves.

If the repeat patterns are causing us no problems and doing us no harm, then there may be no wish to change them. One person’s problem can be another’s success story. On the other hand, through changing one MindSet it may be seen as advantageous to change another. What is most important is to know what you want, to know your outcome, so that every change has a positive purpose. Change for change’s sake brings little but a little change. Real change occurs when we know what we want to change and why.

Changing Situations

To bring about the big change that is necessary to attain our aspirations, we need to ensure we have the right MindFrame© for the right situation. To have one MindFrame for every aspect of our life would be inflexible and blinkered, and would most likely lead to patterns being established across all areas of our lives.

To have multiple MindFrames© bouncing around our heads so that we can pick the right one for the right situation, could lead to confusion and misapplication. It may not be wise to be belligerent, for example, during a romantic anniversary celebration, or overly attentive to the needs of others whilst focusing on a task on a computer screen.

Separate MindFrames© have therefore been identified for nine key situations in which we find ourselves in everyday life. These are: work, rest and play, goal setting, goal getting and goal attaining, self, sex and social. These nine areas can split into bands of three, the three broad areas that make up our lives. First, work, rest and play. Second, the directional aspect which each of us follows, goal setting, goal getting and goal attaining. Finally, the three communication modes in which we find ourselves, alone, in a close relationship with another person, and as part of a group.

We can then choose to have the right MindFrame© for each situation. That means that if everything is fine with most aspects of our lives, but we are experiencing difficulty with, for example, completing tasks, we could look at our ‘goal getting’ MindSet. Or if everything is OK at work and at home, but we are encountering difficulties with friends, then the ‘social’ MindSet may need addressing.

Or there may be a combination which needs changing. For example, we may be encountering problems at work with our employees, which is having a knock-on effect at home. That may require changing the ‘work’, ‘rest’ and ‘social’ MindSets. On the other hand, changing one MindSet may have a knock-on effect and impart the required change on all other aspects of our lives.

Addressing MindFrames© under separate situations is necessary as we do behave and respond differently under different conditions. Everything is context specific. We are not the same in every aspect of our lives and can often behave entirely differently. The most important aspect is to establish positive MindFrames© that can have a beneficial effect on other areas.
A MindFrame© is a personal approach or strategy to one aspect of our lives that ensures we get the result we want. Once the pieces have been explained and put together, it becomes a straightforward approach that will be mentally engrained so we can meet our objectives more easily and effortlessly.

Using our unconscious resources, aligning our conscious and unconscious parts, and finding a pathway that is desirable and congruent gives us the springboard to achieve all we want.
As we control our minds, we control our frame of mind to change our mind and change our results. Change our frame of mind, change our lives.

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